Sometimes I know that what happens around me shouldn't affect me, but it does.
I even wonder why I get so emotional over problems that are not really my own, but what others are sharing with me. Do I have powers like Jasper's in 'Twilight' (ability to sense the moods of others)?
But that isn't the case in the real world. When your boss shouts at you (or worse-- a good boss trying very hard not to shout at you); when your classmates / co-workers give you smirks and cold looks; or when you're trying to be the peacemaker between two friends who've turned hostile, it's hard not to be affected. Add to this the overwhelming pressure of producing "results" or "performance" ratings, it's a miracle one can still sleep!
Yet as I self-righteously try to rationalize my reasons for whining, I remember Ate Beth. She came across my life journey only 8 months ago. Since I moved to Sorsogon City a year ago, God kept reminding me that I cannot afford to become a lone ranger in the faith. So I asked Him to show me who would be willing to mentor me, someone I could also respect and look up to in the faith.
Ate Beth came to me one time after a service and said, "Anytime you're getting lonely or missing your family just text me okay? My house is just one ride from here. It's only me and mama living there now. You can even stay overnight, if you like. My home is open to you. By the way, would you like us to start a One-to-One* bible study?" Aaaah, I thought. So here's Your answer Lord!
I was quite surprised because at first I thought she wouldn't be this open. She usually just sat at the back of the church, wearing a hat. Later on I found out it was because of chemotherapy. As I spent more time with her, praying with her, seeing her strong faith in the Lord inspite of her colon cancer, listening to her when she also shared her "normal" fears (although I didn't hear her speak about it often), I wondered in amazement at this mighty little lady who was so in love with the Lord Jesus.
Through Ate Beth's life, I learned that sharing your faith in Christ isn't optional or something you do only when you feel like it. She even encouraged fellow cancer patients while she was undergoing treatment in Manila! "I saw how scared they were and I knew only Jesus can help them," she shared to me one time. Inspite of her fragile figure, she looked lively as she told me how these patients responded to her sharing and prayers -- her strength and joy came from that!
Until her last breath, Ate Beth was concerned for others' salvation. Although she could not speak anymore, we saw in her eyes her yearning and prayer that her entire family turn to the Lord as well. But even then, her full faith and trust in the Lord did not waiver. She knew God would also be faithful to His promise to her.
As I look at the events in my life lately, I thank God I met Ate Beth. And when I'm tempted to just crawl in a corner and whine, I remember her words. I imagine myself running to Jesus' arms and crying out, "Lord, help!"
*One-to-One: A discipleship series of Victory Christian Fellowship
